How do I say it

Daddy picks up Nidhi who is playing on the stair landing.

3yo: Get down, get down. I want to go down.

Daddy carries her downstairs.

3yo (obviously dissatisfied): I WANT to get down.

Daddy: We are down now.

3yo (struggling with having to explain to daddy who apparently doesn't want to understand): I want to get down from the 'carry'.

Conversations with God

We've been in the habit of saying prayers (usually the Lord's prayer followed by a blessing for everyone in the family) for a long while now. Lately I thought I must encourage Nidhi to make her own prayers. So I ask her to think of things 1) to thank God for 2) to say sorry for 3) to ask God for 4) anything else she'd like to say

Some of her prayers:

Dear God, Thank you for Saturday and Sunday so that we can have lots of sweets and chocolates (she is allowed sweets only on weekends).

Dear God, thank you for the places like hotels where we can go and stay and have lovely food. And thank you for vehicles like trains and cars so that we can go to far away places. (After the church weekend away)

(Is there anything about school you would like to thank God for)

Thank you for the outside so that we can play.

(Is there anything you dont like about school?)

Yes, I dont like the school building. No, I dont mind it. Actually, I like everything about school.

Thank you for making Amma so that I can talk to her.

Tidbits from India visit

Nidhi to Mummy who is emerging after a bath, having just arrived home from the airport

3yo: When you were taking a bath, I was talking to Bombay papa (her grandpa).

M: (a little incredulous) Is it?

3yo: Yes, I was asking Bombay papa a lot of questions.

M: (trying to imagine how that conversation must have gone) Is it? And what did Bombay papa say?

3yo: Bombay papa said "mmm"

Nidhi on seeing her grandpa in a lungi

3yo: Mummy, why is Bombay papa not wearing any clothes?

Nidhi watches me with my mother for a while before stating:

3yo: I saw that Bombay mummy is as old as you

M: And how did you see that?

3yo: She is as tall as you

When staying with my sister at Cochin I often borrowed her clothes to wear. One night I was in the dimmed out bedroom where Nidhi had been put to sleep. I was folding some clothes when I saw her watching me through half-closed eyes for a long time, saying nothing (v unusual).

M: What is it Tochi?

3yo: (eyes wide open) Mummy, who are you?

Conversations with a 3 year old - 4

Nidhi, watching a car drive away from our apartment block

3yo: Whose car is that mummy?

M: It's the people living downstairs, in No.1

3yo: What is their names mummy?

M: I don't know, I've never spoken to them

3yo: Why dint you speak to them mummy?

M: Because they're never around. They leave early for work, and come back late in the evening.

3yo (thinking about this): Are they men?

M: No, there's one man and one lady

3yo: But you are a lady and you don't work

M: I work at home, I look after you. I used to work before, when you weren't there.

3yo: Is it when I was in your tummy?

M: No, before that, when you were with God.

3yo: (after thinking for a bit): So, when I grow up and go outside all by myself, then will you go for work?

M: Hmm, I might

3yo (after thinking for a bit): So, the people in No.1, their child is not there

M: Yes, you're right, they don't have any children

The meaning of an apology

Nidhi is jumping on the floor yet again, inspite of being told several times that it disturbs the people in the flat downstairs

Mummy (with a lot of restraint): Don't do that.

3 yr old: I'm sorry, I wont do it next time.

M (beginning to explain again why she shouldn't): See if you jump, the aunty downstairs....

3yo: No, stop talking.

M: What?

3yo: Stop talking, because I said sorry.

Conversations with a 3 year old - 3

While waiting at an estate agent's office

3 yr old: Mummy, why do you have pimples?

Mummy: Because I'm getting old.

3yo: Why do you have white hair?

M: Because I'm getting old.

3yo: Why are you getting old?

M: Because people do, that's how it is.

3yo: Why, mummy?

M: Ask your teachers at school.

3yo (after a lot of thought and staring at mummy's head): When you are 34 yrs old will your hair be fully white?

M: &*^%$#@ (at this rate, probably YES)

After her 1st visit session at pre-school

Mummy: Did you enjoy school today?

3 yo: Yes I did

M: What did you like the most?

3 yo: Nobody took the toys I was playing with. All the children shared their toys with me. Everyone was very nice to me.

Answering the phone

Sometimes when Nidhi rushes to answer the phone at home, her dad would have picked up the parallel line in the other room. She listens in to a bit of the conversation, and then replaces the phone, and tells me who daddy was talking to and what they were saying. One day she answered the phone when her dad called home from work.

Mummy: Say hello

3yo: (replaces the receiver)

M: Who was it?

3yo: It was daddy and only daddy, and daddy was talking to himself.

Conversations with a 3 year old - 2

3 yr old: Mummy, what is "xyz"?

Mummy: Ask your daddy.

3yo: Why do you ask me to ask daddy?

M: Because daddy is smart.

(While 3 yo is digesting this information)

M: Who is smarter - mummy or daddy?

3 yo (very seriously): Me.

Conversations with a 3 year old - 1

(Mummy busy at work in the kitchen)

3 yr old: (has been quiet or talking to self for a while, and suddenly addresses mummy with a volley of questions): Why are you 32 years old? Why is daddy taller than you? Who is Aunty Phong? When you are 40 years old then? Is Amma (her grandma) 80 years old? (at an increasing pitch) Is Amma 80 years OLD? Is Amma 80 YEARS OLD?? WHY ARE YOU NOT TALKING TO ME???

Nidhi learns to button

For the last half hour now Nidhi has been doing up and undoing the buttons on her pyjama top. She first learned to do it up and came to me every time to undo them so she can practise it again. So I taught her how to undo them also and now she has been at it non-stop for 30 mins!! And with so much absorption and focus - its so cute!

Virgil Brigman back on air

It took a friend asking me about my blog for me to visit it again recently. I enjoyed reading the older posts and noting how much N has grown and how much I have forgotten of what she was like.

The last couple of weeks have been tough. N was very ill and has us very worried with what the doctors suspect was swine flu. It isnt as bad as it sounds in that there is a lot of it going around now and the situation is difficult to contain. Well she is better now but I have been having a very bad cough and conjunctivitis for the past week. Plus Rohan has been having a persistent sore throat / cough for more than a month. Wow, I need a holiday - now!

N has been picking up so much language that I feel she is limited only by what we/I expose her to. My conversations with her tend to be repetitive unless I have opportunities to sit down for a chat which isnt really that often. The other downside is that I am the only one who really engages her in conversation as she still isnt that close to daddy.

Her questions however can be so exasperating and I wonder if there is a support group for parents whose children talk too much!

We have a children's bible for her, the stories from which she enjoys. Sometimes I see her leafing through the pages by herself. So, we have been telling her from the creation story that God made everything. The other day she asks me :

N: Who made mummy?

Me: God

N: Who made daddy?

Me: God

N: Who made tochi?

Me:God

N: Who made God?

Me: ??@!

She recognises all the alphabets now, she learnt them almost all by herself, I dint even realise she was interested in them. However she has no interest in learning to read words and hence I am not introducing it to her.

She can easily count upto 20, sometimes upto 30, 40, or even 50, if she is in the mood. Anyway, it gets easy after 20, doesnt it?

She loves nature trails and so I try to take her out without the buggy when possible - whenever we make short trips. The road is downhill from where we live and the pavement is fenced so it is a safe path to let her explore. The path is treelined and has lots of interesting things to observe in every season. Currently she enjoys picking pebbles and twigs and seeds that the 'birds left behind after eating the berries'. She loves spotting beetles on the wall or on the leaves or ants in our path. Occasionally we see bees flitting from flower to flower, feeding on nectar - all very exciting.

She loves riding the trolley in the supermarket but unfortunately I dont get to take her that often since I cant push both trolley and buggy. R takes her during his weekly grocery shopping trip and that is something she looks forward to.

She can ride her tricycle pretty well now but hates it when it goes fast on slopes.

She is looking forward to school, and knows its going to happen 'when I turn 3yrs old'. However recently she expressed doubts when she found that 'mummy and daddy are not going to stay with me when I go to school'. I am now trying to convince her about how much fun school here is going to be and that all her friends are leaving their parents behind when they go to school!

Notes - Speech and Language

I attended a speech and language session for toddlers aged 2-2.5yrs last Friday. Nidhi's speech is not a matter of concern as she is doing well for her age. I went along just to find out if there was anything I could learn and was happy that I did - not only did I learn of new things / ideas to use but I also understood things I was not doing quite right and the proper approach to follow.

Some thoughts that were shared during the session -

Learning through play - All play provides opportunities for learning. You do not need to sit downfor an instructional session to learn about colours, numbers, counting, language. Do not make it academic. Children learn most through conversation so keep it interesting, varied, and at their level.

Child led - Always be led by your child's interest. Ask a child to do something your way and watch it lose interest quickly. Dont instruct and ask, instead, observe and comment on what they have done to engage them. e.g. Dont ask of a child - "What are you making?" which a child wouldnt know how to answer, as at this age most play is without prethought or purpose. Instead say "Are you making a house/mountain/ball?"

The child knows best - Children know better than we do how to play. We have forgotten to think like 2yr olds. Our adult brain sees specific patterns, rules, of game playing. Children are creative and imaginative. If your child enjoys an activity dont shy away from something you think is too advanced for their age.

Flexible - Dont be restricted or restrict a child to the way you think a game is meant to be played. If they are enjoying a game/toy different to its purpose or method, let them (or risk losing their interest again). As long as they are having fun, invent games around what they are doing. Dont restrict their creativity or exploration.

Language skills - Focus on increasing their vocabulary, rather than introducing alphabets, numbers and reading. Build language to enable them to express their thoughts, feelings and ideas. Build on their existing conversation ability. e.g If they say "bus", respond with "yes, a red bus", "a big/noisy red bus" and so on. Build on this by using that as a subject of a conversation. e.g. Talk about how a "cow" eats grass, gives us milk, etc.

Chat times - Find quiet times when you can sit down and talk face to face. Get eye contact and talk about anything you can think of , for instance what you see outside the window, in the park, at play. Make remarks and encourage them to respond.

Environment - Make them aware of sounds in their environment - airplane, machines, birds, police car, train - more opprtunities for conversation, expression and exploration.

A happy child will learn. A child who is happy, interested, enjoying, leading is what you must aim for.

Bye bye blog

With three unpublished drafts, I've realised I'm rarely ever going to have the time to update this blog. For all updates on Nidhi I'm moving to a diary - close at hand always whenever I think of something noteworthy.

So bye bye for now, until I begin to find uninterrupted time again (...ha..ha!)

The terri(ble)fic twos

Nidhi now 'reads' several of her favorite books out. And they aren't small ones I might add. Her favorites are 'The Very Hungry Caterpillar' and 'Platypus'. But she surprised me by remembering lines from newer ones like 'Handa's Surprise' and 'Big Bear Little Bear'.

She unknowingly says the funniest of things when she wants to get her way like this morning when I ate a tablet she asked what that was and I said it was medicine. So, of course she wanted the medicine too. So when I told her that one has medicine only when one gets sick she says "Tochi wants to be sick!"

When I tell her that she can have/do something at a certain time, she will insist that it is that time. or example if I say "You can eat bread sticks in the evening", she'll go "It IS evening" (with the emphasis!!)

One day I was washing up in the kitchen and she was seated at the dining table having just finished her lunch. I heard her say something over and over again so I went to investigate. She was staring at the pot of yogurt in front of her and repeating "And where's 3 and 4? And where's 3 and 4?".

It was a 125gm pot.

I wonder if anyone else ever wishes that their toddler never grows up. This is the most wonderful phase of N's life yet - so full of innocence and charm that I dont want her to lose any of it.

Of course again there are days when you just go ' Oh, I cant wait for you to grow up!'. N is asserting increasing independence now. She wants to do everything herself and if we attempt to help will protest loud and strong. Daddy helped her take off her pyjamas when she wanted to use the potty and she threw such a fit he dint know what was wrong until I told him to put her pyjamas back on and let her take them off herself!!

P.S.

We are almost fully potty trained now (except for outdoors, I dont know how to deal with public toilets; and night time). My laundry load is considerably lightened! :-)

Word associations

Our night time routine now includes story telling. We listen to thirsty crow, greedy dog and hare and the tortoise every night. Sometimes we tell the story together,
Me: Once upon a time there was a ..
N: crow
Me: He was very ..
N: thirsty
Me: He flew all around looking for ..
N: water
Me: But the only water he could find was in a ..
N: tall jug

Nidhi will nowadays associate random things based on a single word. While listening to the story of the greedy dog, for instance, when we come to the part where the dog is crossing a bridge on a stream, she will say "like Thomas" (from a book on Thomas the tank engine where he is crossing a bridge) or she will say "like while you were sleeping", and when I show that I dont understand, she will say "six deer jumped over a silvery stream" (from her book 'While you were sleeping'). Her memory continues to amaze me.

Weaning is proving difficult, as I had expected it would be. I am putting my foot down about feeding outside home, and am trying to reduce day time feeds. She has a healthy appetite and feeds only for comfort or to get my attention / time.

She enjoys peeling oranges. She was watching me do it once and I let her have a go. Initially the activity kept her engaged for a good 15 minutes, but these days she does it in under 2 mins. Of course, these are the smaller oranges (mandarins, clementines). She understands small and big and keeps pointing out the difference in things on her own - small milk (1 pint bottle) and big milk (2 pint bottle), for instance.

She knows colours red, blue, yellow, orange, green, purple, pink, black, white and recently brown.

She understands the word 'belongs' which I thought was a tough one. Today at the restaurant, she pointed at her drinking cup and said "belong Tochi" , then at my glass and said "belong mummy" and then at Rohan's glass and said "belong daddy".

She has learned how to raise her eyebrows and has great fun doing it and making us do it. It had her squealing with delight for quite some time today.

Change is exciting!

I have been thinking of making a scrap book for Nidhi for a very long time. I have a few ideas but just dont know what kind of book to get , it must be one that will stand the test of time. Maybe I ought to give it serious thought and a good look-around to see what is available.

Already the first year seems like a blur and I seem to remember so little of what she was like. This blog is an attempt to capture it but a book is so much more personal and I can add bits that I cant do here (like her first painting). I think it would be wonderful.

So much has been happening these past few weeks. We are moving home (a bigger place) by the end of the month and I am gradually getting excited about that. Our home trip in January also nears and in the coming weeks we have to finalise lists and start shopping. Also on the anvil is a new job for Ro which sounds promising and not as stressful as the last one has been. And its hard to believe that N will be TWO YEARS OLD soon. And we have started thinking about the next one now and trying to decide about when is the right time. So much is going to happen in the near future, change is exciting!

Bibna aunty has a baby!!

Yesterday was such a happy day. Bibna has a baby boy born past noon India time via a normal delivery and from what I gather not a very prolonged labour, praise God.

Through the day I kept exclaiming what a happy day it was and when N gave me a strange look I had to explain it was because Bibna aunty has had a baby and that mummy is now an aunty. By the end of the day Nidhi was repeating the same thing to her dad :-)

She now knows to express herself so well. If I am on the phone for very long and she wants my attention , she grabs the telephone cable and goes "keep phone down". If daddy is reading a book and she wants someone to read to her, she goes and taps on his book and says "no reading, put it down". It is so charming that one cant help give in to her requests :-)

She wants to walk a lot when we go out and I dont like to deny her, I would hate being pushed around in a buggy all day. Today we walked a long way from Belmont Hill to Lewisham and she obediently held onto my hand and dint try to run onto the road at any time.

Her favorite song is Emerald City by The Seekers and her favorite cartoon is Charlie and Lola. She tries to sing along to Emerald City when it is playing and describes what C&L are upto while watching the program.

She now recognises numbers 1-5 and even pointed out the '1' in '10' today.

For some reason the past 2 weeks she has been acting fussy about emptying her bladder in the potty. I thought we were making good progress but now this. She runs to the farthest corner and protests very strongly if I suggest using the potty which is a far cry from when she used to follow me to the bathroom and pick up her potty herself when I suggested it. I'm not forcing her and am certain she will come around slowly. Maybe it is just a phase of asserting her independence. She refuses to sit on her chair for her meals, refuses to get dressed, to get undressed, to get into the bath, to get out of the bath, to sit in the buggy, so on and so forth. Yes, it may be all just a phase but that does not make it any easier when one is going through it!

A nasty fall

I have been about looking for nursery places for Nidhi since last week. This afternoon I visited another one, the closest to us and that was when Nidhi had her nastiest fall yet.

She is very uncooperative these days and determined to disobey. When we left from the nursery she insisted on walking up a ramp and around it to the other end which had two steps. I was patient the first time and then asked her to stop and get into the buggy. But she persisted in having another go and which point I started walking away. I turned just in time to see her stumble at the first step, bend forwards and fall headlong onto the floor.

A big swelling rose on the front of her forehead in no time and a long abrasion above the right eye. Fortunately she dint cry long and as soon as I put her down began to climb up another wall. Really!!

She's being having a blocked nose last few days which has now developed into a bad cough. This means we will be homebound for the next few days :-( I hope she does not need another course of antibiotics, she has had so many already.

daabi daabi shataba

I thought I recognised every word that Nidhi utters until she threw up, "shola agade". It appeared to be some nursery rhyme since she sang it along to a tune, but try as hard as possible, I could not identify it. I kept telling Rohan I know everything she utters but for the life of me I dont know what this is. And he kept saying it might be some gibberish that means nothing. To vex me further she added another rhyme to this - "daabi daabi shataba". And I worried that one day she would just stop saying them and I would never know what they meant :-(

But I neednt have despaired. A couple of weeks ago "shola agade" was revealed as "Solomon Grundy" when she sang (or at least attempted) the rest of the rhyme. How thrilled was I when a few days later Humpty Dumpty revealed itself similarly :-) I am now a content mom.

Nidhi is now almost attempting sentences. She makes new combinations of words that she hasnt heard from me before which helps communicate her thoughts and interpretation of things she sees. This is such a major milestone towards self-expression. So far, her communication was limited to labeling objects and events - daddy's slippers or daddy bathroom, for example.

Last week I got new books for her from the library and at her insistence picked up a Noddy book of patterns. The first page showed Noddy in bed and she said instantly -"Noddy sleeping". Today at church when Mary took baby Emma in for a nappy change, Nidhi on noticing them not around said - "Emma gone"!!